Unlocking the Twat of the Week!

Who’s a bit of a tit? That’s right, me! Read more

Goodnight Grandma

We knew this morning that God was calling your name,
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.
Read more

A healthy(ish) concoction

I’ve decided I’m going to start a healthy diet so here’s my late dinner. Yes that’s guacamole in the middle, hope I like it as that’s a huge dollop of it and I’ve never tried it before! Read more

New beginnings

Six weeks ago I began a brand new life in Folkestone, Kent, 250 miles from home and it was the best thing I could have done. Read more

Don’t blame the immigrants!

Having a fairly large online presence I come into daily contact with a multitude of characters with differing views and beliefs. The other day I had a conversation with an American pro-gun activist, I’ve had numerous conversations with dedicated (and often borderline obsessive) Justin Bieber fans, and rival football and baseball fans. I always enjoy a good healthy debate. Read more

Wedding bells in the air

Eight years ago I did the honourable thing and proposed to my beautiful partner, we’re still together so obviously she said “yes”, however we didn’t get married. It took me another seven and a half years to actually pull my finger out and start organising our big day. Read more

A protracted recovery

On December 11th 2012 I let a bloke in a mask cut me open and break my ribs. OK it’s not quite as simple as that, I had major surgery to correct Pectus Excavatum.  Read more

The balls are still wet!

Over the years I’ve been ranting in different places, it all started on Blogger, I chose to use the name Life Licks Balls, partly in homage to the incredible Kevin Smith movie (well I think it’s incredible anyway) ‘Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back’ where Jay (played by Jason Mewes) calls the people he dislikes Ball Lickers. Read more

Less Splash! More Plop!

It’s hard to imagine a worse live “entertainment” show than the one I watched on Saturday night. Instead of making a big “Splash!” on ITV it made barely a ripple in my eyes. Read more

We Got The Love Bug!

A decision my partner Sadie made yesterday afternoon really made my week. She decided she wants to arrive at our wedding venue in HERBIE, yes that famous VW Beetle with a mind of its own! Read more