Over the years I’ve been ranting in different places, it all started on Blogger, I chose to use the name Life Licks Balls, partly in homage to the incredible Kevin Smith movie (well I think it’s incredible anyway) ‘Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back’ where Jay (played by Jason Mewes) calls the people he dislikes Ball Lickers. Then in 2007 I launched my own website, finally my own self-hosted place to rant and rave about anything and everything.

I originally wanted a WordPress blog to vent my feelings but it became increasingly clear that if I wanted to have a rant using my iPhone the WordPress app is woefully poor. So I then decided upon Tumblr but it was a bit too basic with hardly any decent themes so I went back to WordPress again. It’s not ideal but it’s the best of a bad bunch.

So what can you expect from this blog?? Well basically you get me in all my glory. Just think Jack Dee mood swings with Lee Evans madness and you get somewhere close to how my mind works – all in print. I don’t blog as often as I’d like to but when I do you’ll know about it!

It’s hard to imagine a worse live “entertainment” show than the one I watched on Saturday night. Instead of making a big “Splash!” on ITV it made barely a ripple in my eyes.

Olympic star Tom Daley’s new show “Splash!”, aimed to become another big ratings hit. It hit alright, it hit the self destruct button. Dotted around the poolside were signs saying “No Bombing”, it’s just a shame these signs didn’t apply to the show.

Not only was the show incredibly boring it was far too long. 90 minutes of fluff interspersed with just 25 seconds of the celebrities actually diving is not what I would call a diving programme, unless you count the viewing figures.

“Starring” in the show were Sugababes singer Jade Ewen, actress Helen Lederer, presenter Jenni Falconer, comedian Omid Djalili and Benidorm actor Jake Canuso, not exactly an All-Star cast for a primetime slot on Saturday night.

A decision my partner Sadie made yesterday afternoon really made my week. She decided she wants to arrive at our wedding venue in HERBIE, yes that famous VW Beetle with a mind of its own!

A company in our hometown of Grimsby called ‘Big Day Buses‘ have imported a 1962 Volkswagen Beetle from California. They painted it in true Herbie livery and made it available to hire (with chauffeur) for weddings and other special occasions and I couldn’t be happier.

Herbie is my all-time dream car and has been since I was a small child when I first saw The Love Bug (1968) on TV so imagine my delight when Sadie agreed to hire the amazing replica. Not only will Sadie get to arrive in my only motorised fantasy but immediately after the ceremony we get to have a 30 minute chauffeur-driven ride around the town in him too.

This day, the biggest and best of my life, has just become even more special.

I’ve been humming the theme tune to The Love Bug ever since Herbie was booked!